Forgive and Move On
A Sermon of
The Rev. Dr. David A. Killian, Rector
All Saints Parish
Brookline, Massachusetts
Seventeenth Sunday after Pentecost
September 11, 2005
Text: Matthew 18:21-35
I
I'd like to begin by telling a story that's a bit funny. A guy set up his buddy Bill on a blind date with a friend of a friend. But Bill had been burned before and he wasn't too crazy about going out with somebody he's never seen. "What do I do if she's really ugly?" Bill protests. "I'll be stuck with her all evening." "No problem," his friend reassures him. "All you have to do is go to her door and meet her. If you like what you see, terrific. If you don't, just double over and moan Aaaauuuggghhh!" and pretend you're having an asthma attack. Then you can gracefully get out of the date without hurting her feelings." Seems reasonable, so Bill arrives at his date's apartment and rings the bell. When the young woman opens the door, Bill is awestruck by her beauty and grace. Bill is about to introduce himself and tell her how pleased he is to meet her when she suddenly doubles over and moans Aaaauuuggghhh!
In today's Gospel passage, Jesus' parable of the unforgiving debtor calls the "Bill" in each of us to a change of perspective and an openness of heart: to realize our own shortcomings and failures before judging and condemning others, to remember that we are all debtors before God in need of God's healing and forgiveness.
Jesus calls all who would be his disciples to forgive one another as God forgives us; to return to our brothers and sisters the compassion that God gives totally and unconditionally; to be able to pray as Jesus did on Good Friday: "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing."
II
We need to forgive and move on with our lives. Don't stay bogged down in disappointments and defeats. For example, you are unemployed and looking for work, you read the want ads, polish up your resume, join a networking group, practice a mock interview. You have an appointment with a prospective employer. You put on your best suit; show up early for the interview. You are charming, but not arrogant or over-confident; you strike just the right balance. In your mind you are the best candidate and you did everything to make it obvious to the prospective employer that you are the superior applicant. But then you get the letter that says that they chose "someone else who more closely matches their needs." You are devastated, angry and hurt. You spend the rest of the day in a funk and you want to spend the rest of the week or month nursing your wounds. But that won't do you any good. For your own sake, you need to leave your hurt feelings and focus on the future. You need to forgive and move on.
Sometimes the hardest one to forgive is yourself. God has forgiven you, but you still carry a burden of guilt. You need to forgive yourself and move on. I was a member of a Roman Catholic religious order for over 24 years. Even though I was following my conscience and I left the order on good terms, I carried a burden of guilt. I felt that I had let my brothers in the order down and hurt my parents. Even though I was serving as an Episcopal priest, I had not forgiven myself.
Several years ago I was helped to see the baggage of guilt that I carried around. I was at a retreat on centering prayer and met a Presbyterian minister who had driven to the retreat on his motorcycle. He took me for a ride on his cycle and showed me how it worked and how he attached his suitcase to the back. It occurred to me that he wouldn't travel very easily if he was dragging his suitcase on a rope behind the cycle -- but I was still dragging my suitcase of guilt behind me! I needed to cut the rope, let that suitcase go, and move on with my life. I needed to forgive myself -- as God and my brothers in the religious order and my parents had long ago forgiven me. I didn't do myself or anyone else any good if I kept dragging that suitcase.
Do any of you here today need to forgive yourself, to cut loose your suitcase of guilt? God has forgiven you; you need to forgive yourself.
III
Today is the fourth anniversary of the September 11 terrorist attacks. One of those greatly affected by 9/11 is with us this morning. He is Wright Salisbury, whose son-in-law was in one of the planes that smashed into the Twin Towers. After that horrible and devastating day, Wright decided that he did not want to spend the rest of his life bitter and vengeful. Rather, he asked why this tragedy happened and concluded that it was caused by religious hatred and misunderstanding. He decided to attack the roots of the problem and he is devoting the rest of his life to building trust and understanding between people of different religions through the organization he founded called the Alliance for Interfaith Understanding.
I met Wright a couple of years ago when we hosted one of his programs here at All Saints Parish. Rabbi Emily Lipof of Temple Ohabei Shalom spoke from the Jewish perspective; Dr. Sepi Gilani of the mosque in Wayland explained Islam; and I presented Christian beliefs and practices. The audience of Jews, Muslims and Christians showed a genuine interest in learning about each other's faiths. When I looked at the audience, I noticed that Wright Salisbury was smiling. He was pleased. This is what he wanted: people of different faiths coming together to appreciate, not denigrate each other's beliefs. This was his response to 9/11.
Over the past six months, Wright has been working on an exhibit of the art and culture of the world's religions. His exhibit opens today in the Guild Room. You can see it and meet Wright after today's service. Wright was able to create this powerful exhibit and the programs that bring together Christians, Jews, and Muslim because he was willing to forgive and move on after the tragedy of September 11.
Forgive and move on. If you're unemployed and don't get the dream job, move on, and look for the next opportunity. If you're carrying a burden of guilt like a suitcase behind a motorcycle, forgive yourself, and move on with your life. If you have been deeply hurt, forgive those who have wounded you and move on. In forgiving others, you overcome your anger and outrage toward the person who has injured you and you become free. In asking for forgiveness, you face the hurt you have inflicted on others and ask their pardon. Through forgiving and being forgiven, you move on, and experience liberation, healing, and new life.
Amen.